Thursday, 20 October 2011

Best. Press Release. Ever.

Ontario's Kitten Eater-In-Chief
On October 6, Dalton McGuinty was re-elected to a third term as premier of Ontario - albeit with a weakened minority government. Looking back on the man's career, I think it's worth remembering the most defining moment in the campaign that got him elected in the first place. It was the fall of 2003 and the ruling Tories were already suffering in the polls when they released this gem of a press release. The release resulted in one of the most surreal moments in Canadian political history - and pretty much guaranteed McGuinty's accension to the premiership.

The story goes something like this. The tone of the campaign was becoming increasingly hostile, with both parties slinging mud at one another through gratuitous attack ads. According to insiders, the PC strategist responsible for this inspired communique intended it as an example of a truly extreme attack ad, and never intended it to go to the press. (There's no account of how much alcohol was involved in the process, but that can only be imagined.) But in an act of collective somnolence, nobody killed the release and by the next morning it was all over the news.

The moral of this story? If you want to get elected, accusing opponent of eating cats - unless of course you have photographic evidence - is definitely the wrong approach.

-------------------------------------------------

Subject: Dear Mister McGuinty September 12, 2003
Dear Mister McGuinty

An Occasional Bulletin from Ernie Eves Campaign Headquarters

There came a fork in "the high road." The Liberals took it.

"Ernie Eves is either incompetent and doesn't know his own platform, or he is purposely misleading Ontario voters." -- Deputy Liberal Leader Sandra "Better Angels of our Nature" Pupatello, September 12, 2003

"The Eves government isn't just incompetent. It can actually put you in the hospital - or worse." -- Hamilton Mountain Liberal MPP Marie "Is Everybody Happy?" Bountrogianni, September 11, 2003

"You can't trust Ernie Eves when it comes to nuclear safety." -- St. Paul's Liberal MPP Michael "China Syndrome" Bryant, September 11, 2003

These jolly, positive, "Who-me-fear-monger?" pronouncements beg a simple question: "Who really speaks for the Ontario Liberal Party?

Dalton McGuinty. He's an evil reptilian kitten eater from another planet. (sorry) 

No comments:

Post a Comment